Tim Duncan recently finalized his divorce in a private hearing held at his attorney's office. Yes, the judge left the courthouse -- on his lunch hour -- to grant Duncan his divorce in private. His ex-wife's attorney was there so clearly it was okay with her. No notice of the hearing appeared on any docket. Must be nice to be able to get a judge to give up his lunch hour to grant your divorce.
Now, there are good reasons for this. The media scrum at the courthouse might have been pretty bad if the hearing were made public. But, on the other hand, court proceedings tend to be open for a reason -- so the average Joe and Jane can see the justice system works. That nothing is hidden. Hearings like this lead people believe there is one system of justice for rich folks like Tim Duncan and one for the rest of us. I work for the rest of us. I represent folks who going to the courthouse and spending time even in court for even a simple uncontested divorce means time missed from work. Unpaid time missed from work. Believe me, I wish I could get the judges to have hearings in off hours so my clients don't have to miss work. But it's not going to happen. First, Judges deserve their lunch hours too and shouldn't miss it just because someone wants a divorce. Second, because the judges are at the courthouse, we go to them, they don't come to us.
Now, Tim and the former Mrs. Duncan are to be commended. They apparently went about getting divorced with minimum fanfare and fuss. They apparently reached an agreement and the divorce hearing today was uncontested. This is great. More people should do this. Fighting over every little thing doesn't save the marriage, it just makes the end of it that much harder on everyone and means the animosity will linger longer. Agree where you can. Be reasonable at all times. The sooner you reach a settlement (without being a doormat, of course) the sooner you can move on with your life.
Showing posts with label nba. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nba. Show all posts
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day
Probably should have done a post on Mother's Day too. Oh well, this blog covers family law issues in the sport world. The sports I cover have mostly male player, so, Father's Day gets more attention. Which is unusual.
Good knows we talk enough about fathers here. Especially the ones who don't pay their child support. I don't care how many kids you have -- pay your child support.
I don't care how difficult the moms are, take every second of your court ordered visitation. There is NO excuse for not spending time with your kids. Fine, being a professional athletes doesn't exactly lend itself to every other weekend visits. Do what you can. You don't have to go that party in Miami. You don't have to go to that other sports's championship game(s). Spend time with your kids. Or hey, bring your kids. They would love it.
Two tweets (god I hate that word, someone give me an alternative PLEASE) gave some really good advice this Father's Day.
Wanna say Happy Fathers Day to all the good dads out there. Wanna change the world? Starts w/the man in the home. Raise your kids!
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - Theodore Hesbur
On that last, you don't have to be married to the Mom or living with her. But you damn well better treat her with respect -- no matter how she acts. And you better not bad mouth her to your kids, or let your kids see by any of your actions how you truly feel about her. This is the mother of your children. Without her, you would have a reason to celebrate Father's Day. Got it? And I don't want to hear about that she doesn't do the same. Two wrongs don't make a right. Be the better person. Set a good example for your kids. That is the best gift you can get for Father's Day, knowing your kids will grow up to be good, respectful productive members of society.
Good knows we talk enough about fathers here. Especially the ones who don't pay their child support. I don't care how many kids you have -- pay your child support.
I don't care how difficult the moms are, take every second of your court ordered visitation. There is NO excuse for not spending time with your kids. Fine, being a professional athletes doesn't exactly lend itself to every other weekend visits. Do what you can. You don't have to go that party in Miami. You don't have to go to that other sports's championship game(s). Spend time with your kids. Or hey, bring your kids. They would love it.
Two tweets (god I hate that word, someone give me an alternative PLEASE) gave some really good advice this Father's Day.
Wanna say Happy Fathers Day to all the good dads out there. Wanna change the world? Starts w/the man in the home. Raise your kids!
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - Theodore Hesbur
On that last, you don't have to be married to the Mom or living with her. But you damn well better treat her with respect -- no matter how she acts. And you better not bad mouth her to your kids, or let your kids see by any of your actions how you truly feel about her. This is the mother of your children. Without her, you would have a reason to celebrate Father's Day. Got it? And I don't want to hear about that she doesn't do the same. Two wrongs don't make a right. Be the better person. Set a good example for your kids. That is the best gift you can get for Father's Day, knowing your kids will grow up to be good, respectful productive members of society.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Fundraising for Cancer Research
I don't just snark about athletes and their family law troubles. I also tried to get involved in helping others outside the law. To that end, I have started a FirstGiving fundraising to raise funds for children's cancer research.
READ FOR A CURE
The goal is to read 50 books by the end of the year. I am seeking donations of $10 for every book I intend to read. This means $500 for cancer research (more if I read more, in other words, the more I get, the more I read).
Please help this very worthy cause.
READ FOR A CURE
The goal is to read 50 books by the end of the year. I am seeking donations of $10 for every book I intend to read. This means $500 for cancer research (more if I read more, in other words, the more I get, the more I read).
Please help this very worthy cause.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Yet Another One
Yet another athlete is jailed for not paying child support. Rather than write yet another post making the same point -- Pay Your Child Support -- I just created a new page. On the page In Jail - Child Support you will find links to the stories on all athletes who have been jailed for not paying child support. It will be listed by sport. Former atheletes and current athletes will be included. I really hope this remains a short list.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Child Support - Not a Difficult Concept
Although for some it apparently is. Yet another former pro athlete facing jail for failure to pay child support. This time it's Dennis Rodman. He is the "colorful" former Bull, Spur and probably some other teams.
Look, I get it. Child support orders are based on your income at the time the order is entered. However, if your income changes, see what your options are to change the order. In Maryland, child support is modifiable based on a material change of circumstances. Material change of circumstances means something big changed that affects child support -- like not being a pro athlete and making the big salary anymore.
Get it taken care of before the arrears add up. If one waits, the judge will not be amused. In the Rodman case his third wife (which is a whole other post) claims arrears of $800,000. C'mon, how do you let it get that high without doing something about it.
Rodman's excuse is that he is broke. Which would be believable if he were not photographed all the time at parties all over the world. How does he get to these events? Walk? Most likely these are paid appearances. Which means he has income. That means he needs to pay his damn child support before he pays for anything else.
One more time, for those who think child support is optional: Pay. Your. Child. Support.
Look, I get it. Child support orders are based on your income at the time the order is entered. However, if your income changes, see what your options are to change the order. In Maryland, child support is modifiable based on a material change of circumstances. Material change of circumstances means something big changed that affects child support -- like not being a pro athlete and making the big salary anymore.
Get it taken care of before the arrears add up. If one waits, the judge will not be amused. In the Rodman case his third wife (which is a whole other post) claims arrears of $800,000. C'mon, how do you let it get that high without doing something about it.
Rodman's excuse is that he is broke. Which would be believable if he were not photographed all the time at parties all over the world. How does he get to these events? Walk? Most likely these are paid appearances. Which means he has income. That means he needs to pay his damn child support before he pays for anything else.
One more time, for those who think child support is optional: Pay. Your. Child. Support.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Resolution
Got a little behind in posting. My trial schedule was a little unbelievable. Then I was too exhausted over the holidays to do anything. Sorry about that.
Here's what I missed:
Kobe Bryant's wife filed for divorce. Apparently there was no pre-nup. All I gotta say on that one is "What an idiot." The guy makes millions because of his unique ability to play basketball, yet he does not protect his ass -ets by having a pre-nup. This is the wife he had a lot of explaining to do back in 2004, that one cost him a big old ring. This divorce could cost him even more.
Floyd Mayweather is sentenced to 90 days in jail for domestic violence. Well, it's a start. But 90 days is hardly getting tough on the crime of domestic violence. He must report to jail by January 6. Happy New Year, Floyd.
Okay, there are probably other stories. I promise to do better in 2012. More stories (provided the athletes cooperate), more analysis. All provided in a timely analysis.
Hope 2012 is a wonderful year for everyone.
Here's what I missed:
Kobe Bryant's wife filed for divorce. Apparently there was no pre-nup. All I gotta say on that one is "What an idiot." The guy makes millions because of his unique ability to play basketball, yet he does not protect his ass -ets by having a pre-nup. This is the wife he had a lot of explaining to do back in 2004, that one cost him a big old ring. This divorce could cost him even more.
Floyd Mayweather is sentenced to 90 days in jail for domestic violence. Well, it's a start. But 90 days is hardly getting tough on the crime of domestic violence. He must report to jail by January 6. Happy New Year, Floyd.
Okay, there are probably other stories. I promise to do better in 2012. More stories (provided the athletes cooperate), more analysis. All provided in a timely analysis.
Hope 2012 is a wonderful year for everyone.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Shut the Heck Up
Gilbert Arenas lost his bid to keep his ex-girlfriend/fiance from appearing on the show Basketball Wives (a misnomer of a reality show as all the participants are ex-wives or ex-girlfriends of b-ball players). One of his arguments in asking for the injunction was the invasion of his privacy that would occur if the ex were allowed on the show to complain about him. The judge found that this claim was so much noise signifying nothing. Specifically, Arenas has a twitter account -- with allegedly thousands of followers -- from which he tweets constantly about his personal life. In other words, you can't claim your personal life is personal if you splash it all over the internet.
Newsflash: the internet is not private.
Everything you post on the internet is public. Someone somewhere will see it. Even if you have "privacy" settings, do the people who have access to your "private" account also have privacy settings? Do their friends? And so on and so on and so on. If you post it, they will see it.
This is true for celebrities with thousands of twitter followers and true for folks with all of 5 friends on Facebook. Let me repeat: the internet is not private.
If you are going through a custody/divorce/child support, do not post on facebook, twitter, google+ or anyplace on the internet anything about your ex. Just don't. Smart attorneys (like me) will get that information and use it against you. The judge won't buy your argument of "I was just venting, I didn't think anyone would see it."
Besides, do you want your kids to see what you posted about the other parent or have their friends see it? It doesn't help the situation, can only hurt it, so just don't do it. Resist the temptation to "get even."
If you have been so foolish as to do post all over the internet what a jerkface your ex is, do not then try to remove it. You can bet your last pleading that someone already screen captured the posting and sent it to your ex. Who then helpfully forwarded it to the lawyer. Now, they can bring up something called "spoliation of evidence" meaning you destroyed possible evidence in the case. This is a very bad thing to have happen.
One last thing about the internet, do not friend your ex, or have your friends do so for you just to gather incriminating evidence. Yeah, it sounds like a good idea. In practice it 1) doesn't help things at all and 2) just makes you look petty and vindicative in court. As an attorney, I really try to avoid having my clients look petty and vindicative.
In short -- SHUT THE HELL UP. It will help your case much better than any posting anywhere on the internet you can make.
Newsflash: the internet is not private.
Everything you post on the internet is public. Someone somewhere will see it. Even if you have "privacy" settings, do the people who have access to your "private" account also have privacy settings? Do their friends? And so on and so on and so on. If you post it, they will see it.
This is true for celebrities with thousands of twitter followers and true for folks with all of 5 friends on Facebook. Let me repeat: the internet is not private.
If you are going through a custody/divorce/child support, do not post on facebook, twitter, google+ or anyplace on the internet anything about your ex. Just don't. Smart attorneys (like me) will get that information and use it against you. The judge won't buy your argument of "I was just venting, I didn't think anyone would see it."
Besides, do you want your kids to see what you posted about the other parent or have their friends see it? It doesn't help the situation, can only hurt it, so just don't do it. Resist the temptation to "get even."
If you have been so foolish as to do post all over the internet what a jerkface your ex is, do not then try to remove it. You can bet your last pleading that someone already screen captured the posting and sent it to your ex. Who then helpfully forwarded it to the lawyer. Now, they can bring up something called "spoliation of evidence" meaning you destroyed possible evidence in the case. This is a very bad thing to have happen.
One last thing about the internet, do not friend your ex, or have your friends do so for you just to gather incriminating evidence. Yeah, it sounds like a good idea. In practice it 1) doesn't help things at all and 2) just makes you look petty and vindicative in court. As an attorney, I really try to avoid having my clients look petty and vindicative.
In short -- SHUT THE HELL UP. It will help your case much better than any posting anywhere on the internet you can make.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Oh No - Ocho Does Reality TV
Yes, he did the TO and Ocho show last year. The ratings about equalled the Bengals play on the field. With the NFL Lockout stretching into its THIRD month, Ocho is getting bored. He tried bull riding, snake wrangling and a few other things. Now he wants to do another reality show.
This reality show will be with Basketball Wives Alumna Evelyn Lozada (someone fill me in here on who she is). Ocho and Ms. Lozada will allow the cameras to follow them around as they attempt to parent their children. Not children they have with each other, Ocho and Evelyn are engaged to be married. Apparently, Evelyn has one child and Ocho has 4 children with three different women. Great, they are going to start married and blended family life with a reality show. That bodes so well for their future.
Let me make this simple, adults can choose to do reality shows all they want. You want to have your every move documents so numnuts with access to the internet but no mental filter can criticize everything you do, go right ahead. But leave the kids the hell out of it.
Kids don't get a say in this. They can't even object to any of the terms of the contract. They can't say "No Mom, No Dad, I don't want a camera following me everywhere I go." And if you think child labor laws apply to reality shows like they do scripted tv shows think again. Nope, these kids will be on camera for hours, with no relief. Unless the parents call a halt to the filming. Considering the parents think the show is a good idea in the first place, figure the odds of that happening.
It is exploitation of children pure and simple. It is not in the best interest of the children to have their lives put all over tv. Kids needs safety to make the mistakes kids make. Not to have those mistakes blown up to get ratings.
Now, all these kids have other parents. Hopefully the father of Evelyn's child and the mother's of Ocho's kids will refuse permission. One can hope. Of course, it depends on how much the other parent gets paid out of it. (What you are shocked parents would put money ahead of their kids' best interest? Come spend a day in my law practice.) Or even if the other parent says no, the reality show wannabe stars can just go to a judge. That is what Denise Richards did with regards to her girls with Charlie Sheen. Charlie in one of the few things he has done right recently said no to exploiting his children. The judge said it would all right. REALLY JUDGE? I guess in LA even the judges are star struck.
Hopefully, this show will no do well in the ratings and get cancelled. Hopefully, Ocho and Evelyn will put their fame whoredom on hold at least where their children are involved. Hopefully, I will win the lottery this week. Guess which one of those is most likely to happen.
This reality show will be with Basketball Wives Alumna Evelyn Lozada (someone fill me in here on who she is). Ocho and Ms. Lozada will allow the cameras to follow them around as they attempt to parent their children. Not children they have with each other, Ocho and Evelyn are engaged to be married. Apparently, Evelyn has one child and Ocho has 4 children with three different women. Great, they are going to start married and blended family life with a reality show. That bodes so well for their future.
Let me make this simple, adults can choose to do reality shows all they want. You want to have your every move documents so numnuts with access to the internet but no mental filter can criticize everything you do, go right ahead. But leave the kids the hell out of it.
Kids don't get a say in this. They can't even object to any of the terms of the contract. They can't say "No Mom, No Dad, I don't want a camera following me everywhere I go." And if you think child labor laws apply to reality shows like they do scripted tv shows think again. Nope, these kids will be on camera for hours, with no relief. Unless the parents call a halt to the filming. Considering the parents think the show is a good idea in the first place, figure the odds of that happening.
It is exploitation of children pure and simple. It is not in the best interest of the children to have their lives put all over tv. Kids needs safety to make the mistakes kids make. Not to have those mistakes blown up to get ratings.
Now, all these kids have other parents. Hopefully the father of Evelyn's child and the mother's of Ocho's kids will refuse permission. One can hope. Of course, it depends on how much the other parent gets paid out of it. (What you are shocked parents would put money ahead of their kids' best interest? Come spend a day in my law practice.) Or even if the other parent says no, the reality show wannabe stars can just go to a judge. That is what Denise Richards did with regards to her girls with Charlie Sheen. Charlie in one of the few things he has done right recently said no to exploiting his children. The judge said it would all right. REALLY JUDGE? I guess in LA even the judges are star struck.
Hopefully, this show will no do well in the ratings and get cancelled. Hopefully, Ocho and Evelyn will put their fame whoredom on hold at least where their children are involved. Hopefully, I will win the lottery this week. Guess which one of those is most likely to happen.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Dads Do Too Get Custody
This got a little lost in all the lockout/decertification news out of the NFL. There are other sports you know (I have just learned this).
Dwayne Wade of the Heat was granted custody of his two sons on Friday. Full physical custody. They arrived to live with their father in Miami on Friday. His teammates gave him a standing ovation in the locker room when he shared the news.
It was sadly a very long and nasty custody battle. The final opinion of the Judge was 102 pages, the longest in Cook County history. That is a long opinion for any case, let alone a family law case. According to the article, Wade's ex-wife made several baseless allegations against Wade and his fitness as a parent.
That is just wrong. Parents should not be tearing each other down just to gain an alleged advantage. Leaving aside the fact that this often does not work (Courts aren't stupid, they know when someone is trying to put something over on the court), it only hurts the kids. The kids become pawns in the divorce. Whoever gets the kids "wins." It becomes about winning, not the best interest of the kids.
Most courts have done away with maternal preference for custody and the "tender years" exception. The "tender years" exceptions means that young kids should be with their mother. The law has caught up with reality -- dads can change diapers (if I figured it out, anyone can), dads can feed the children (okay breast feeding is a problem but no kid died from being a bottle baby that I know of), dads can get up in the middle of the night when the kid is cranky. In other words, either parent can provide a loving, caring environment for the child.
It used to be that for dad to get custody, he had to prove mom was unfit. This lead to a lot of baseless allegations against mom. Thinks like "mom has a boyfriend, she shouldn't have the kids," "mom has a drink after dinner, she is an alcoholic and shouldn't have the kids." This led to mom fighting back. And a horrible double standard. Mom having a boyfriend was considered bad because who knew what that guy would do to the kids. Dad having a girlfriend was good because there was a woman there to help him care for the kids. REALLY??????? It all got very insane for dads trying to get custody of their kids.
Now the standard is Best Interest of the Child. No more showing the mom is unfit. It means showing which parent is better for the child in this particular case. Dad may love helping the kids with homework and getting them up and out the door for school. Mom may want to scream everytime she thinks about having to make dinner. Mom may love all the projects associated with Girl or Boy Scouting. Dad may prefer root canal without anesthesia to attending one more PTA meeting. Doesn't mean either parent is bad. Just means one is a little better at parenting than the other. The perfect solution would be each parent caring for the kids according to their strengths.
Well, that's the perfect solution. In the real world, it rarely works that way. Dads still have a heck of a fight on their hands to even get joint custody. Many courts still assume mom is the best parent until proven otherwse. Mr. Wade had the money to fight his ex-wife for several years. Not every dad has the money or the energy to fight that long. All I can say is Dads, don't give up. Your kids are worth it. Just ask Mr. Wade.
Dwayne Wade of the Heat was granted custody of his two sons on Friday. Full physical custody. They arrived to live with their father in Miami on Friday. His teammates gave him a standing ovation in the locker room when he shared the news.
It was sadly a very long and nasty custody battle. The final opinion of the Judge was 102 pages, the longest in Cook County history. That is a long opinion for any case, let alone a family law case. According to the article, Wade's ex-wife made several baseless allegations against Wade and his fitness as a parent.
That is just wrong. Parents should not be tearing each other down just to gain an alleged advantage. Leaving aside the fact that this often does not work (Courts aren't stupid, they know when someone is trying to put something over on the court), it only hurts the kids. The kids become pawns in the divorce. Whoever gets the kids "wins." It becomes about winning, not the best interest of the kids.
Most courts have done away with maternal preference for custody and the "tender years" exception. The "tender years" exceptions means that young kids should be with their mother. The law has caught up with reality -- dads can change diapers (if I figured it out, anyone can), dads can feed the children (okay breast feeding is a problem but no kid died from being a bottle baby that I know of), dads can get up in the middle of the night when the kid is cranky. In other words, either parent can provide a loving, caring environment for the child.
It used to be that for dad to get custody, he had to prove mom was unfit. This lead to a lot of baseless allegations against mom. Thinks like "mom has a boyfriend, she shouldn't have the kids," "mom has a drink after dinner, she is an alcoholic and shouldn't have the kids." This led to mom fighting back. And a horrible double standard. Mom having a boyfriend was considered bad because who knew what that guy would do to the kids. Dad having a girlfriend was good because there was a woman there to help him care for the kids. REALLY??????? It all got very insane for dads trying to get custody of their kids.
Now the standard is Best Interest of the Child. No more showing the mom is unfit. It means showing which parent is better for the child in this particular case. Dad may love helping the kids with homework and getting them up and out the door for school. Mom may want to scream everytime she thinks about having to make dinner. Mom may love all the projects associated with Girl or Boy Scouting. Dad may prefer root canal without anesthesia to attending one more PTA meeting. Doesn't mean either parent is bad. Just means one is a little better at parenting than the other. The perfect solution would be each parent caring for the kids according to their strengths.
Well, that's the perfect solution. In the real world, it rarely works that way. Dads still have a heck of a fight on their hands to even get joint custody. Many courts still assume mom is the best parent until proven otherwse. Mr. Wade had the money to fight his ex-wife for several years. Not every dad has the money or the energy to fight that long. All I can say is Dads, don't give up. Your kids are worth it. Just ask Mr. Wade.
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Offseason
Given their respective schedules, there is no one time that all 4 major sports are off. However, right now, the NFL is off, baseball really hasn't started and the NHL is beginning to wind down (do the NBA and NHL have incredibly long post season play or what?). The offseaon would be a good time for divorces, custody matters, whatever issue to move forward. You don't have to worry about games and practices.
Non sports folks don't get an offseason when things can be scheduled. Nor do they get to ask the court for special consideration. The court sets the hearing dates. The parties just have to tell their employer they need the time off for court. Then there is meeting with the attorney for discovery, trial strategy, etc. Depositions need to be scheduled. Attorneys like their weekends too, so we tend not to schedule around our client's schedules. All in all, a court matter means a lot of time missed from work.
What is the solution? Don't get a divorce? Don't fight for custody of your kids? Hardly. If you must take your family law matter to court, do it. Accept the timing and do your best. It is all one can ever do.
Non sports folks don't get an offseason when things can be scheduled. Nor do they get to ask the court for special consideration. The court sets the hearing dates. The parties just have to tell their employer they need the time off for court. Then there is meeting with the attorney for discovery, trial strategy, etc. Depositions need to be scheduled. Attorneys like their weekends too, so we tend not to schedule around our client's schedules. All in all, a court matter means a lot of time missed from work.
What is the solution? Don't get a divorce? Don't fight for custody of your kids? Hardly. If you must take your family law matter to court, do it. Accept the timing and do your best. It is all one can ever do.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Divorce and the Pro Athlete
One of the cool things about writing this blog is that reading sports websites now constitutes research. Yep, reading SI, PFT, ESPN, and all those other sites is now "work." As I am sitting here tonight with a gin and tonic in hand, doing research for future posts, I ran across a rather scary statistic.
The divorce rate for pro athletes ranges from 60 - 80%.
That is all major sports: NFL, NHL, NBA and MLB.
The divorce rate for the average population is 50%. This means if those numbers are accurate, athletes divorce at a significantly higher rate than the average public.
Even more frightening is that there is anecdotal evidence that most pro athletes divorce within a year or two of retiring (really retiring for good, no come backs). That means when the crowds and the adulation go away, so does the marriage.
There are many reasons for the demise of a marriage. I would like to think that athletes divorce for the same reasons the rest of the population does. Reasons like, incompatibility, domestic violence, money, affairs, just not wanting to be married anymore. But that number tells me more is at work here when it comes to a pro athlete's marriage ending.
Whatever the reason though, pro athlete or not, the goal of the divorce remains the same. Preparing two people to go forward into their new unmarried lives.
The divorce rate for pro athletes ranges from 60 - 80%.
That is all major sports: NFL, NHL, NBA and MLB.
The divorce rate for the average population is 50%. This means if those numbers are accurate, athletes divorce at a significantly higher rate than the average public.
Even more frightening is that there is anecdotal evidence that most pro athletes divorce within a year or two of retiring (really retiring for good, no come backs). That means when the crowds and the adulation go away, so does the marriage.
There are many reasons for the demise of a marriage. I would like to think that athletes divorce for the same reasons the rest of the population does. Reasons like, incompatibility, domestic violence, money, affairs, just not wanting to be married anymore. But that number tells me more is at work here when it comes to a pro athlete's marriage ending.
Whatever the reason though, pro athlete or not, the goal of the divorce remains the same. Preparing two people to go forward into their new unmarried lives.
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