Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Oh Good Grief.

You have no idea how much I wanted to entitle this post "Guys, keep it zipped up."   However, I decided that was a little unfair.   It's not always the guy's fault when things like this happens.   After all, it takes two to tango. 

What did happen?

Former Bear Shaun Gayle testifed on Tuesday in the murder trial of his pregnant girlfriend.  Allegedly, his pregnant girlfriend was shot by another woman who had a relationship with Gayle.   Gayle had previously stated there was only a business relationship.   Under oath, the real truth came out -- as it so often does.   Gayle and the other woman, Marni Yang, had a sexual relationship.   From the testimony it appears it was a friends with benefit situation.   Well, that is how Gayle saw it.   Yang apparently wanted a bit more. 

Hence, the title.   Guys, if your girlfriend is pregnant, do not be getting it someplace else.   In fact, if you are in a relationship such that pregnancy is not unexpected, don't be getting it someplace.   Do not be spraying it around like a fire hose.  However, as I said, it's not always the guy's fault.   Ladies, if his girlfriend is pregnant, do not sleep with him.   He is not going to leave him for you.   If he is willing to bail on his pregnant girlfriend for you, do you really want him?   No, you do not.   Have some dignity.

In my practice, I have seen this happen several times.   He has kids of the same age, only a few months apart.   For the guys, this means you are paying child support for kids of the same age.   You are trying to balance visitation with kids of the same age.   For the women, this means you have to explain to your child why their half-sibling is the same age.   Also, sometimes the dad prefers one child over the other (usually based on how easy the mother makes things for dad -- as he perceives easy).    Do either of you want to explain the situation to a judge?  

It is just a mess all around.   Think before you have sex.   Keep it zipped up.   Use birth control -- both parties.   Do something to avoid this situation.   It is not good for anyone, even if it does not end like the Gayle case in one person being dead. 

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